Rebel Girls: If you have a daughter, you need to see this

Have you ever emphasised to your girls the importance of beauty? Have you ever told your girls that pink is girls' colour and blue is boys'? Have you ever thought that Maths is for boys and dancing is for girls? Have you ever imagined how gender stereotype would change/shape a child?

I have. There is this girl I tutor, her mom keeps telling her how important it is for girls to be pretty. Apparently for her, beauty is what brings her girl to their future prince charming. She keeps emphasising on beauty over ability. This makes me so sad and this concept is so deeply rooted in her mind it is not easy to get rid of. It feels like I am watching a 40-year-old Disney Snow White movie.

There is also this other girl I tutor. Her favourite colour is pink. I asked whether she thought pink was a girls' colour and blue a boys'. She said yes undoubtedly. I asked how would she feel if a boy in her class liked blue. She said she would feel weird. I then asked whether she would like to make friends with the boy if he liked pink. She said no. Isn't it obvious?

In a world where we are taught mums are usually the home carers and dads are the bosses of the family and girls need to be gentle and quiet while boys need to be strong and brave, we are actually instilling and reinforcing such stereotypes and it would undermine children's future and their self-image. Young girls who are unconsciously taught to think like that are likely to possess poor self-image and self-esteem. Self-esteem plays an extremely important role in children's behaviour and achievement. According to the self-fulfilling prophecy, people (both children and adults) achieve goals by believing that they can accomplish them. This is what fuels them and pushes them to try more. Children with poor self-esteem are more likely to give up in times of adversities. It is harder for them to get back up. Teenagers with poor self-esteem have a high drop-out rate as well.

It is time we started teaching children qualities we hope to see in both boys and girls. Boys can be gentle and introverted while girls can be as brave as they want themselves to be. They can be however and whoever they would like to be. The only limit they have is the sky. It is definitely not a matter of black and white. There is no right or wrong. But we really can affect the way kids around us become, in so many ways. This piece of article is not written to criticise anyone or any parenting styles. It is simple a reflection about the education we are providing for our next generation, inspired by personal experience.