Why aren't your children improving in what you want them to

I am not writing this to question or criticise that you have not been doing enough for your kids, on the contrary, I am suggesting it as a reflection we all need as human beings. As a teacher/tutor, I have seen many children who need help. The thing is, there is only so much I could do to help. The real matter lies within the family. There are so many things a parent can adopt to minimise children's undesirable behaviours. However, it does take time for them to work. The most prominent changes that can be brought to children are through the small things in life, their lifestyle, change of habits, activities you could do with your children, etc. The most important element is: consistency, be it language development, logical thinking or behavioural problems.

I understand that sometimes you can't see clearly when you are in it, but as an outsider, I do. Therefore, I am here with some insights. If your children are stressed or emotional, try meditation. Meditation for schoolchildren has been proven to improve concentration, motivation, ability to handle and strive in times of adversity. More schools (not in HK though) are gradually adopting mindfulness exercises worldwide. Start with a five or ten minute ritual and stick to it. Ask your children to moderate their breathing, focus on the flow of air into their body as cold air runs through their noses and warm air breaths out along with the stress and sadness or anxiety. Focus on the surroundings. Reflect on the day, take in the good things and leave behind the sad ones. Gradually move to longer sessions like 15 minutes. It could be useful before sleep, in the beginning of a day or before homework time as a way to calm the mind and body and get ready for the tasks ahead. However, as I have mentioned before: consistency. For long-term strategies to work, regularity is essential. Try it regularly, every day or every two days for a month or two, you will see gradual improvements. I recommend any children above kindergarten level to try. For those with religious background, prayer can also act as a form of the same kind with guidance.

I stress the importance for consistency because I have seen it work. There was this case in which I gave some advice to the parent, two weeks later I checked in on her and she replied that she had been following it and incorporating more of that in their daily life. I said it she would be able to see improvements in a month or two. Surprisingly, she had already seen results. It was just two weeks, but she had already noticed her child to be more responsive, interactive, thinking actively as well as being more logical and critical. All I asked her to do was to pay more attention in their daily life, asking and guiding the child to think or induce more. Do not underestimate the power of interaction, or simply chatting with your children.

However, there was another case where I had given tons of advice for the parent but they never got to do it regularly. They only used such strategies when things come up. Two years has gone by but there has not been any significant improvement in the child's emotional development. I am not here to accuse anyone but to bring to your attention the importance of education in daily life and the necessity of consistency.

Every child is talented in their own way. They just need guidance to flourish.